Poem of Myself by Uno Ramirez

Pablo "Uno"

Righteous, Confused, Curious, Helpful

Son of Senora Ramirez and Brother of Concepcion

Lover of baseball, talking, and winning

Who needs Lolo, Ignacio, and Reasons for Everything

Who feels useless and hungry

Who gives help, obedience, and affection

Who fears killing, Whistler, and Juan

Who would like to see elections, schools, and hospitals

Citizen of Central America

Ramirez

The Journal of Uno Ramirez: Day 8

My shoulder still feels sore from earlier, and I can't walk yet. I couldn't believe it at first. We had lost the battle. San Ildefonso was still controlled by the loyalists. I woke up after the battle and we had retreated to the jungle. Ignacio was there to talk to me. He told me that Mendoza had arranged for him to escape. He told me that the captain wants him to go to the U.S. and become a doctor. I'm also going to be sent home to my family, but that's not the most exciting part. I'm supposed to go back to school! I'm supposed to talk to everyone. I'm supposed to tell them that our country can only succeed with healthcare and education and laws and proper elections. The guerillas will fund me and I am supposed to even find a way to be a school teacher. I can't even believe it.

I understand war so much more than I used to. It's so much easier to fight a war when I know the reason I am fighting. I know now that I am truly fighting for the good of the people. I am fighting for Mendoza's vision of healthcare and education in this country. I will become a teacher and spread knowledge to everyone I can find. I will teach all the young people so that they can lead better lives, but I will do all of this as a soldier. Ignacio told me something that I will never forget. I can be a soldier while also making people's lives better. I can serve my country in two ways. At last I have a cause to fight for, and never again will I be afraid to fire my rifle for what I know is right.

IMAGE SOURCE

http://www.soschildrensvillages.org.uk/imgs/content/sudanese_boy.jpg

The Journal of Uno Ramirez: Day 7

San Ildefonso fell to the loyalists. They say we need it back if we're to win the war. What will become of me when I fight in this battle? Mendoza said himself that we weren't ready for this kind of fighting. I've gone on the patrols and I've done drills but I learned nothing from them. All I know so far is how bad of a soldier I am. I can imagine Juan shooting me on "accident" as soon as I make a mistake. Then again if I make a mistake I have him or the loyalists to shoot me.

I can't even imagine what will happen in the streets of San Ildefonso. How will I be able to do any good for the revolution when I can't even bring myself to shoot at these stinking loyalist pigs! Of course I shot at them last night, but only because it was dark and I couldn't even see the soldiers. It was easy because he simply pulled the trigger and fired into the darkness. Aside from the screams of the soldiers it felt easy, and not like I was actually killing. This battle will be during the day. That means I'll know exactly what I'm doing when squeeze that trigger. I'll know exactly what's happening if a bullet from my weapon kills another human.

IMAGE SOURCE

http://www.news.cornell.edu/stories/June06/child_soldier.jpg

The Journal of Uno Ramirez: Day 6

I can't believe the army I am in. I don't even understand my own men. I thought that Captain Mendoza was a good man, but I was shocked today. I found out that one time after the revolutionaries captured a city, Mendoza stole money from the bank of the city and used it to buy his own airplane. He used the money of sick and starving people (like the people of my own village) to buy his own airplane. Of course I'm told that it's for the good of the revolution, but is it right? How can he just take from people like that? I'm so confused, and yet in my mind i know he must use it for the good of the people. He must be using it for the sake of the revolution. I heard he sometimes flies to America. Is he getting even more help for the revolution there?

Juan has told me that in a revolution we need to fight hard and sometimes unfairly. Is that true? The revolutionaries will torture and kill the loyalists like we did two days ago. And for what? For an insignificant map. Even Lolo seems to think that things like that need to happen for us to get information. Would they really do that to us if we were captured?

When the revolutionaries "arrest" people they never have good reasons, and yet the people they arrest are never seen again. I know this very well from my village. Soldiers would steal people from their homes because of small things. Are they actually fighting for the good of our country? For some reason I'm not sure if they are.

IMAGE SOURCE

http://www.worldrevolution.org/projects/webguide/images/CatPics/ChildSoldierThailand.jpg

The Journal of Uno Ramirez: Day 2

Last night I thought about my family. I thought about the time we visited San Ildefonso for Easter. I thought about the long journey I took with my family and remembered how Concepcion would ask so many questions. I remembered the story of Peter's betrayal, and I swore I would never betray anyone like that.

I awoke in the morning before the first light. I saw Captain Mendoza walking and decided to follow him. I eventually talked to him. I had so many questions but I knew I couldn't ask them all. I had to ask one question though. I had been wanting a sure answer for this since I got to the fortress. I asked the captain if we would win the war. I knew that our country had fought 42 wars before this one, and I was wondering what made the 43rd war any different. What did the leaders in this war plan to do differently to bring peace? The captain seemed to wonder about this. He then told me that we had to do this for the sake of the children of our country who suffer. He said that we must try.

To me there is no good side in this war. I'm no better or worse off with the revolutionaries than I would be with the loyalists. You fight in both sides, and you will probably die on either side. Everyone says that the families of the revolutionaries will be taken care of. I don't believe that. I remember the families in the village. If the soldiers did anything to the people there it was that they took the corn, chickens, and melons from the village as I licked my lips with an intense hunger ripping at my stomach.

The thing I hate most is that they tell me I will never make a soldier, and yet I didn't ask to be here. If I'm such a bad soldier then why not let me leave this place? The way I see it we would all win that way. I guess it's not that easy.

IMAGE SOURCE

http://www.stolenchildhood.net/images/nepalese_children__c9.jpg

The Journal of Uno Ramirez: Day 1

What right do those filthy soldiers have? What right do they have to kidnap us and put us in this prison? To hurt my family like they did today. They came into our village just this morning and I remembered the noise as they unloaded desks and chairs to recruit us. I'm just glad that they didn't touch my sister after what has happened to her, and I thank God that I at least have Lolo and Ignacio with me.

When the loyalists or revolutionaries "arrest" people they never have good reasons, and yet the people they arrest are never seen again. I can't see a good side in this war.

I've met some other boys here. One of them is named Esteban, and I feel bad for him because his father was recruited into the loyalist army fighting against us. Another boy named Juan left school so he could join the revolution. I don't think I would ever do that. Ignacio told us all today that our country has had 42 revolutions before this one. Now we're fighting the 43rd.

All through the day we've been learning how to fight, and I hate to think that I might actually be in a battle. One soldier almost killed me today because I bumped him in a drill by accident. I remember the hatred in his glaring yellow eyes as he prepared to finish me. I received my gun and it felt heavy and strange in my hands, and I've already had a taste of war. Earlier today, loyalist helicopters shot our camp earlier, and we scurried to rocks or walls driven by a rush of adrenaline. I remember how the machine gun's psh-psh-psh lasted for a few minutes and suddenly stopped along with the fast paced beating sound of the helicopters. Five men have died since I've been here. My first day in this place. I've sworn to myself that I won't be one of them. I'll go along with drills with sweat stinging my eyes, but I will never be a soldier. I need to get out of here. I need to escape.

IMAGE SOURCE

http://www.nocafta.org/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/kid.jpg