Last night I thought about my family. I thought about the time we visited San Ildefonso for Easter. I thought about the long journey I took with my family and remembered how Concepcion would ask so many questions. I remembered the story of Peter's betrayal, and I swore I would never betray anyone like that.
I awoke in the morning before the first light. I saw Captain Mendoza walking and decided to follow him. I eventually talked to him. I had so many questions but I knew I couldn't ask them all. I had to ask one question though. I had been wanting a sure answer for this since I got to the fortress. I asked the captain if we would win the war. I knew that our country had fought 42 wars before this one, and I was wondering what made the 43rd war any different. What did the leaders in this war plan to do differently to bring peace? The captain seemed to wonder about this. He then told me that we had to do this for the sake of the children of our country who suffer. He said that we must try.
To me there is no good side in this war. I'm no better or worse off with the revolutionaries than I would be with the loyalists. You fight in both sides, and you will probably die on either side. Everyone says that the families of the revolutionaries will be taken care of. I don't believe that. I remember the families in the village. If the soldiers did anything to the people there it was that they took the corn, chickens, and melons from the village as I licked my lips with an intense hunger ripping at my stomach.
The thing I hate most is that they tell me I will never make a soldier, and yet I didn't ask to be here. If I'm such a bad soldier then why not let me leave this place? The way I see it we would all win that way. I guess it's not that easy.
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